After the Big Event

My friend Lara recently adopted from Uganda. Precious, sweet boy! I'm so excited for her whole family. What a joy. What amazing love...love the Father has lavished on us that we should be called His sons and daughters and then extend that love to call precious babes our children!

She linked to a blog article from her Facebook page, commenting that this was her answer to the many people who asked how things were going since bringing Ambrose home. The article she linked to was written by Jen, mama to five --two of them adopted from Africa. The article "After the Airport" was really, really good. In fact, you should go read it now. Then, come back and finish this.

I'll wait. Go ahead.

I'm only going to say a few things about it now. I know her article was long and I don't want you to get overdone on reading today.

My initial thoughts:

• LOVE her public schooling/homeschooling comments, though they weren't her point
  
• how did she know I was struggling with whether or not to be honest because I was afraid someone would misunderstand or say "but you chose this"?
  
• she talked about having the oh-so-wanted baby, then those who moved across the country in obedience. I'm not struggling with a deep postpartum depression or being lonely, per se, but the fact that she addressed those two issues in one paragraph jolted me.
  
• how often have I said "fine" when someone asked how I was doing and I really wanted to answer with a much more telling, lengthy answer? [This speaks directly to something I just hit on in my Bible study. Must write about that next.]
• community. God's way of meeting our needs. Hmmm...

I like reading others' blog posts. I'm usually encouraged, often times challenged, and most of the time entertained. I have to be careful not to spend too much time reading about others' lives and ignoring my own. But, today, Jen's post hit a nerve. A spot I needed to have exposed.

Fear, Part IV (final)

...last installment in a series on fear...

As I was sharing Scriptures with the ladies at our women's breakfast, I explained the illustration by Beth Moore that had helped me put fear in perspective so clearly. I can't adequately explain just how powerful her illustration has been to me over the last 8 months. Any time fear has risen up in me, I have tried to remember Beth's statement. I have sought to take the thought captive and examine the situation for what it really is. Usually, it boils down to a fear that my kids or I will be hurt. I ask myself "Do I trust God?" Sometimes I don't like the answer to that questions. I have to admit my lack of trust and ask God to help me trust Him.

As I was talking about trusting God, I realized I had come to a similar point many years before...at a ladies breakfast on a Saturday morning! I believe the year was 1998. A few weeks prior to the ladies breakfast my mom fell in the classroom where she teaches fracturing her elbow and tearing her rotater cuff. During this accident it was discovered that my mom had high blood pressure. The morning of the breakfast my mom got very lightheaded and clammy. A friend in attendance is a nurse and was helping care for mom as they tried to figure out what was wrong. During the commotion I headed to the bathroom. While there, I distinctly remember playing through the worst case scenario and basically grieving the loss of my mom. I remember talking to God and hashing through it all with Him, telling Him it would be unfair and that I wouldn't be able to live without my mom. It was quite an interesting experience in the ladies bathroom. I finally came to a point where I surrendered my mom to the Lord and told Him I trusted Him with her life and mine, whatever may come. I left the bathroom with a lighter heart.

That memory came flashing back to me as I spoke, so I shared it. While I haven't known fear like the two ladies sharing testimonies before I spoke, we all face fear. And, while I haven't had to overcome such incredibly fearful situations, God's Word teaches us all, regardless of where we're at in the journey.

After dealing with the issue of fears we face, I shared some Scriptures that tell us who we should fear and what blessings are ours when we do.

Isaiah 8:12-13 tells us not to fear what others fear, but to fear the Lord Almighty, who is holy. When we fear God, we will gain wisdom (Psalm 111:10). He will also teach us (Isaiah 48:17) and even confide in us (Psalm 25:14)!

Forget not the Lord and all His benefits. For some reason, this has been stuck in my mind lately. I don't love the Lord for what He can give me. I love Him for who He is. As a result of understanding who He is, I know He longs to give me comfort, peace, and a spirit of power over fear. He is so good to us! If He is for us, who can be against us?

Delight yourself in the Lord and fear Him alone!

Fear, Part III

...Continued from a previous post...

...I enjoyed a delicious breakfast and then sat back to hear the testimonies of the two ladies who had stories about overcoming fear.

The first testimony was from Christine, whose home had been burglarized and whose dogs had been viciously attacked in their own backyard by a group of pit bulls. She summarized her testimony by saying that sometimes fear is given to us to keep us safe but that it can't rule our hearts.

The second testimony was from Jennifer, who has had a chronic illness for the last decade and has overcome some major medical issues. She was diagnosed with a disease that causes her muscles to either seize up or break down. Amidst treatments for this, she had to have a major surgery. Because of her chronic illness, they had to use a different method of anesthesia. She woke up in the middle of surgery. She didn't "come to", but afterward she was talking to the doctor and was describing things she should have never known. This led to a year and a half long battle to sleep at all as she would have nightmares immediately upon closing her eyes. When she needed yet another surgery, she faced the greatest fear she had ever had. With the help of the Lord, she overcame her fears and had a successful surgery. Her testimony was gripping and powerful. Her testimony was also something that involved way more fear than I have ever known!

So, then it was my turn. What in the world did I have to share after these two testimonies? To be perfectly honest, I felt like an idiot to even go up and try to speak on the topic of fear at that point!

But, I had some Scriptures on the topic and felt like I was supposed to share that Beth Moore illustration. So, that's what I did.

It's kind of neat how the Lord made it all fall into place. I have to say that even as I was speaking and realized my notes weren't exactly what I was sharing, I wondered if I was making any sense. But, one thing seemed to lead to another and so I kept going with it.

I began by defining fear. Fear is an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat. It is a mixed feeling of dread and reverence; a feeling of anxiety concerning the outcome of something; the likelihood of something unwelcome happening.

Fear is an emotion. Scripture tells us we are not to be ruled by our emotions and that our heart is deceitful above all else and can't be trusted (Jeremiah 17:9). As Christians, we are set free from a fear of death (Hebrews 2:14,15). We have hope.

Psalm 27 is a beautiful psalm. It really addresses the issue of fear well. I think the key to fear, as outlined in these verses, is that we will have less fear as we delight ourselves in the Lord. The psalmist says "one thing I ask of the Lord, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his temple" (vs. 4). As we seek the Lord, dwell in His presence, and delight ourselves in Him, our fears will banish. Just as this psalmist said, we will be able to say "The Lord is the stronghold of my life--of whom shall I be afraid?" (vs. 1).

1 John 4:18 says that as we are perfected in love, fear is impossible to have. Our aim is to be like Christ. Christ had no fear because he could fully trust the Father. He knew Him. He was confident in God's will for His life. As we grow in love with the Lord, fear is driven out because we grow in our trust of Him.

No matter what comes, we can trust God. If ________, then GOD! (see Fear, Part II post)

How do we get from fearful to trusting God? Take our thoughts captive. If fear is an emotion, what can overcome emotions? Truth. Meditating on truth!

2 Corinthians 10:4,5 says we must demolish any thought that comes up against truth. We must train our minds not to fear.

Are you a captive or a captor? Are you held captive by fear or do you take thoughts captive? Colossians 2:8 tells us not to focus on things of this world that can take us captive.

As I was speaking, I realized I had experienced a moment similar to Beth Moore's that prompted her illustration. It was really weird to have it come to me as I was speaking, but the timing was really neat.

...Stay Tuned...

Fear, Part II

I mentioned fear in my last post and said I would talk about it a little more.

I was asked back in March if I would share a message at our church's ladies breakfast in early May. I absolutely love speaking to groups, especially women, so I was flattered and excited about the opportunity.

My prayer for the time was continually "Lord, please let it be none of me. Take away any pride or thoughts that I have anything of value to say and give me just Your words to share."

The topic for the morning was "Fearless Factor". Two other ladies were sharing testimonies and then I would close it out with a message.

Immediately after I was asked to speak I knew I would share what I had learned through the Beth Moore study "Esther". Beth talked about how afraid Esther must have been at the opportunity to go before the king (check out the book of Esther to understand more). Beth spent that day's lesson talking about women and fear. Fear cripples many women. Sometimes we have fears that are major, but many of us face minor fears continually throughout our days.

In Beth's teaching, she shared how she had overcome fear in a particular area--a fear that her man would leave her. One day she felt the Lord prompting her to "go there" as she mentioned this fear. So, she went there. She felt as if the Lord kept saying "then what? with every addition of fear she would add. For example, if she said "I'm so afraid my husband will leave me for a younger woman," then she sensed the Lord saying "okay, then what?" After all the conditions...the woman was younger, beautiful, her kids liked the woman!, her marriage dissolved, etc. Eventually it came to the point that the "then what?" was answered with "well, I guess I'd go back to ministry and start healing and move on." Her entire situation ended with a statement. If ________, then GOD. God is still going to be God; I am still who He says I am; I am still wonderfully made and completely loved; I am still in His care; I will go on living.

For me, this realization was really a turning point for me in the area of fear.

What do I fear most? Something happening to Joel? Something happening to my kids? Something happening to me? My kids getting hurt? Losing a friend? Pain? Am I afraid my home will get burglarized and I'll lose my stuff? (not really; but that's another topic) Am I afraid at night because it's dark and I fear someone will come in and hurt me or my kids? Am I afraid I won't have money and be able to provide for my kids in the way I want?

At the basis of all these fears is a lack of trust in God. If I allow fear to grip me or determine my actions or emotions, then I am allowing fear to control me and I'm not focusing on the truth that God will take care of me.

As the day approached for me to share with the ladies at the breakfast, I continued to pray for the Lord to speak and for me to decrease and Him to increase. I came across some great Scriptures on the topic of fear and put them together in an outline along with this illustration from Beth Moore. I was all set to share, though I admit I was still not "feeling" it as I expected. Then, the day of sharing came...

...To Be Continued...

Tragic Ending for a Widow...Fearful Living Part I

I can't imagine my life without my husband.

When I was pregnant with the twins I was overcome with emotion one day (plus a vivid imagination and lots of hormones) and sat down in the kitchen and just bawled my eyes out at the possibility that something would happen to Joel. Poor Rylee, all of 18 months old at the time, just patted me on the back as I sat on the floor with my huge tummy and sobbed. Of course, Joel walked in the door later and had no idea I had imagined he was dead while he was at work.

I think the Lord has allowed me to come face-to-face with my fears, even if it's due to a hormone surge, so that I can deal with them and not live as a slave to fear. Much of what we fear will never happen to us.

I listened to a teaching by Beth Moore last fall in which she addressed fear and how it is probably the number one thing women struggle with most. I mean, if you look at all the issues women face that concern them, fear is at the root of lots of problems. Fear that your man will leave or die, fear that your children will not turn out well, fearing death for ourselves, fear of hurting, fear of failure, fearing what other people will think of you (fat, ugly, not smart...), fear of getting old.

In Beth's teaching she shared how she has overcome fear. I'll share that in a future post.

What struck me today as I thought about fear was the reality of women in Asia. I live in a country where I am free to worship God as I choose. Should something happen to Joel, I will not be relegated to the outskirts of society. But, in Asia, that's not true. Widows face a hard life. This story about a widow in Asia struck a chord in my heart today. Please join me in praying for her family.

More on fear in the next post...