Just Fit!

My walls must be completely bare, my desk entirely cleaned off with my computer unplugged and all the cords wrapped, and every single box, book, and pencil crammed into my one classroom closet before I can say "it's summertime!" at the end of the year.

Teaching in a charter school that rents space in a church, my classroom is used on weekends and throughout the summer in a variety of ways. Most teachers must pack up their room and move things at then end of the year, but my room doesn't look at all like a classroom when I walk out for the summer break.

As I packed some items in boxes two weeks ago, I sat and thought about how much easier it would be if it all fit in the box! I have a wire rack that holds five buckets. I use them to sort supplies for the different subjects I teach. The box they came in is long gone and the rack is too long to fit in most boxes. I filled my closet full of my library books, curriculum, markers and notebooks, and boxes of other things. That wire rack just doesn't fit in a box. Urgh!

Wouldn't life be more simple if everything just fit in a box? But, it doesn't. Emotions don't fit in boxes. People don't fit in boxes. Relationships don't fit in boxes. God doesn't fit in a box.

So, I shall pack away what I can in a box, seal it with tape, and stack them high. Then, alongside or on top I'll perch that wire rack and remember that sometimes things just don't fit in a box.

Gratitude

There are several popular books in the Christian bookstores right now all centered around the idea of gratitude and thankfulness. It's not just a "thanksgiving" time thing. Many believers are realizing that a grateful heart changes your entire countenance and studies support the idea that a grateful heart even prolongs your life. It makes sense, really. If you are focused on being grateful, your heart feels full. You are less depressed. Happy people live longer, according to all the studies I've heard of. Happiness and joy release all sorts of good things in your body.

Now, I've heard some criticisms of these books on being thankful. Most of the criticism revolves around the fact that some books claim you are nearer to God when you are grateful or that you'll live your most fulfilled life by focusing on gratitude. I don't know about all that, but the overall idea that we should be more grateful is something I can wholeheartedly support.

It's really easy to focus on the things that frustrate us, disappoint us, make us angry, scare us, or worry us. Those things can consume you if you let them.

Scripture is clear that worrying about things won't change them or add a day to your life (Matt. 6:27). Scripture is also clear in telling us how to deal with our anger. Anger tells us there is a problem that needs to be confronted. We are told to go to the person who offended us (Matt. 18), to make every effort to make things right from our side (Rom. 12:18), and to not let the sun go down on our anger (Eph. 4:26). We are told anger is an emotion that's okay, but that we aren't to hold onto it.

Disappointment is real. People let us down. We have expectations that aren't met. Maybe they were unrealistic or maybe the other person just didn't have the character to follow through. Either way, we meet with disappointment daily. Sometimes it's as simple as a meal not being as tasty as we'd hoped or expected. Other times, someone fails to be the person we needed in our life. We can continually focus on those failures--our own or someone else's--or we can attempt to move past it.

I have found that one of the fastest ways to get past what worries me or disappoints me or even angers me is to focus on being thankful. God tells us in 1 Thes. 5:18 to give thanks in everything. He also tells us in Phil. 4:6 to be anxious about nothing but to pray about everything. In this verse, we are told "in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God." That word thanksgiving is right now. It's an integral part.

I don't do it nearly enough, but when I stop to reflect on my life with thanksgiving as my goal I am overwhelmed. My hope is to take more moments this summer to just sit back, step back, and be thankful.

There are plenty of things weighing heavy on my heart--worries, fears, disappointments...but I want them to be crowded out. None of them adds to my life. Thanksgiving reminds me I'm extraordinarily wealthy and no good thing do I lack!

Here's to a summer of reflecting on things with gratitude....

In Time

I'm in a coffee shop hanging out while Joel is at his graduation rehearsal. Tonight he will walk across the stage to celebrate earning his Master of Arts degree in Biblical Studies from Luther Rice College & Seminary.

I'm incredibly proud of this great accomplishment. It marks the ending (maybe) of a transitional time for our family. Three years ago we left staff at GFA, where we served for almost 5 years. The ministry was preparing for some significant changes (building a new campus in east Texas), which would require the entire staff to sell their homes, move, and either live on campus or find housing in the rural area. We didn't feel the move was right for our family and Joel's desire to pastor a church had never waned. In fact, it seemed to be growing. We started talking about the future and what to do. Knowing Joel always wanted to attend seminary, we decided we would make some big changes and make it work.

Back when we were first praying about moving to Texas, I made two lists. One list said "reasons to stay" (in Pennsylvania) and one said "reasons to go" (to Texas). Obviously, we wanted to go where "God called us". But, that can be tricky to decipher. [That's a whole other post...and question to ponder for a lifetime.] So, I felt led to make a list. Pros and cons. Look at the choices. Make a decision after weighing all the factors. God used that list to confirm that we were supposed to join staff at GFA and move to Texas. During our interview in Texas, one of the leaders said something that could have been a direct quote from what I wrote on the "reasons to go" list. Because of how that played out, I never doubted if we made the "right" choice. When it was time to leave GFA, the pieces all fell into place so quickly and perfectly that I never doubted that decision either. You see, we were "toying" with idea of me going back to teaching and Joel finding a part-time ministry job while going to school full-time. Within a month, I had a job--at my kids' school nonetheless--and Joel was hired by a church--right near his seminary!

It has been a fun, challenging, growing, long, exciting, stressful, and quick 3 years (note the mixture of emotions). Joel graduates today. It is official. He is finished with his degree. We can move on to the next phase of life. We are hopeful.

What makes me laugh about the way it all worked...one of the things on the "reasons to go" (to Texas) list was the ability for Joel to go to seminary. I knew there were many seminaries in the DFW area and with Joel working a weekday ministry job, he would have evenings and weekends available to do seminary. Ha! I was totally wrong. First of all, he couldn't do seminary while serving at GFA. And, when he finally did start seminary, he only went to a Texas school for one semester! He is graduating from a school based in Atlanta. His program was completely online and this is only the second time we've been on the campus. (The festivities aren't even on the campus; he only picked up his cap and gown and packet on campus.)

This all struck me in a new way as I was sitting in the coffee shop doing my Boundaries study this afternoon. The question was posed "When have you experienced the fulfillment of a God-given desire? Be specific about the circumstances and your feelings." I instantly wrote "We desired for Joel to attend seminary. He did it. He's done. It didn't happen in OUR timing or in OUR way, but God allowed it and has blessed it." 

It's a great accomplishment for us both--to have sought the Lord and followed Him in obedience. With much hard work and many long hours, he did it. We are celebrating!