Landing

I haven't blogged since our move.

The Lord guided us to a new place. We now call Virginia home.

Joel is pastoring a small church in Danville, a city just across the North Carolina border in the central part of the state.

I have to laugh when I think about the journey. Laughter is good. Better than crying, though I love to cry.

The month of June found me excited about what I thought was the direction for our family then frustration when there was silence. I'm not good at silence. Anyone close to me can tell you that emphatically.

As July approached, I banked on the promise from Scripture that I clearly felt was from the Lord. Sensing the Lord had given me anything personal is a huge breakthrough given the place I had gone in my walk with Him over the last few years--wondering if personal really existed. The verse I felt so strongly connected to was in Psalms. Chapter 84.

There is much more than just a verse that spoke to me as I was waiting on the Lord. In particular, however, was verse 5: "Blessed are those whose strength is in you, whose hearts are set on pilgrimage." I really wanted it to be more specific. At the time when I first read this verse, Joel and I were visiting a church where he was preaching--for what we thought was a potential calling to pastor. I wanted specifics. I wanted reassurance. God gave it to me. It just didn't look like what I wanted.

He set my heart on pilgrimage. It's true. That's what He did. 

We left that weekend with high hopes. Then days turned to weeks and we heard nothing. My fears were waiting at the door, knocking gently at first. By the beginning of July, those knocks were getting louder.

Thankfully, I battled well this summer. Never perfect. But, I glory in the Lord for battling standing up instead of feeling like I was knocked down or, worse yet, unaware of the fight.

Years ago I did a Beth Moore study. She talked about the sons of Korah writing this Psalm. Psalm 84. Better is one day in your courts than thousands elsewhere. I had heard the song. I sang it. But, Beth explained what the sons of Korah were talking about. Their ancestors had disobeyed God and He opened the earth and swallowed them up whole. These sons were so taken with the Lord that they didn't want a lofty place in the inner courts. They were content to serve the Lord as long as they could just be inside the courts.

I believe the Lord used this Psalm to encourage me this summer so that my heart would be set on pilgrimage--a move--and also so it would be set to be content regardless of what place or position He gave me/us. 

He is the Lord God Almighty, maker of heaven and earth. He is highly exalted and reigns on high. He is the Anointed One, who took on flesh and bore my sin and shame. He is the Risen and Exalted One, who will one day return. All creatures will bow and declare Him King of Kings and Lord of Lords. 

Better is one day in His courts. "For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord bestows favor and honor; no good thing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless. Lord Almighty, blessed is the one who trusts in you." Psalm 84:11, 12

Noah, Abraham, and others who followed

Over the last few weeks we have been preparing our house to put on the market. The market here is "hot" right now and houses are selling quickly. They are also selling well above what we paid for our house seven years ago. But, there are projects to be done--walls to be painted, bathrooms to be tiled, trim to added, decluttering to be done.

We began with the projects as soon as school was out and our days were more free. We started with decluttering because I wanted to have a garage sale. We cleaned out quite a bit. Having a garage is both a blessing and curse. We tend to use the space to store things and pretty soon we've crowded out our car. We clean it out and park in it again (usually if bad weather is expected). But, it soon becomes filled with little things here and there. Once we started decluttering, we made a huge pile of "garage sale" items and then also began making a pile of things we could go ahead and pack up.

We had our garage sale. We did well. We sold a lot. We made enough that we could pay to have a few projects around the house done. I'm still trying to sell a few things online. But, it feels really good to be decluttered! Moving out some furniture pieces and boxing up some stuff has also helped to feel less cluttered.

Then we began the bigger tasks, like painting and fixing molding and picking out tile. I spent the last week painting our front living room. Joel painted the hallway and back living room. As I was painting the other day, it struck me that we are doing all this work and have no idea if we're really leaving let alone where we're going. Mind you, we have some options. After a phone call and email last week Joel is confident we are moving. I have to say I know we're moving too. But, the question still remains, "Where?"

We've visited one place we like very much. We like the church, the houses, the community, the location. We haven't visited the other two places. We will visit one in the coming weeks. We may get invited to visit the third.

But, as I was painting I thought to myself "this faith I'm exercising right now (because it has been a HUGE exercise of my faith muscles!) is the kind of faith that led Abraham to a land he didn't know." Abraham's faith should encourage me. He left everything in a time when people didn't do that! People move all the time now. It's not a big deal in our culture to move away from family or change jobs. It's not even unfamiliar to Joel and me. I moved across the country at age 10; Joel moved to Japan at 19 and then kept moving in the Marine Corp. Together we moved to a totally new town 6 weeks after we got married. Then we moved to Texas 5 years later. In many ways, I feel more like a nomad than someone really ever leaving "home". But, Abraham...Abraham risked it all. Abraham trusted God. Abraham had no idea where he was going. He walked with God step by step, day by day.

Noah also obeyed God despite understanding the directions. He began building an ark when no rain had ever fallen from the sky. What must his neighbors have thought as he built this gigantic wooden structure? The mocking, the ridicule, the questions, the doubters. Surely they were there to keep him company. But, it says "Noah was a righteous man, blameless in his time; Noah walked with God." (Gen. 6:9) Noah walked with God. That was said about Adam and Eve before the fall. God would walk with them in the cool of the day.

I know the presence of the Almighty. I know when I'm walking with Him and when I'm not. When I'm not, it's because something has captivated my attention and I walk away to explore it--much the way my children do when we're in a store and a shiny object looks alluring. When I'm walking with God, I have a calm reassurance that all will be well. I am reminded that He loves me, has a plan for my life, and cares for me. I am reminded that He is faithful, just, and merciful. I am reminded He is a good Father who delights to give His children good gifts. I am reminded that His ways are higher than mine and His timing is perfect. I can also look back on the years I've spent following Him and remember how He has guided me to various places. The stories are so fun to remember and retell.

Yes, I feel like Abraham who doesn't know where he's going. I feel like Noah preparing a house when there's been no rain. But, I'm not Abraham or Noah. I'm just called to walk in faith, looking to these godly men as examples and taking courage that God is doing something I just can't see yet.

Just Fit!

My walls must be completely bare, my desk entirely cleaned off with my computer unplugged and all the cords wrapped, and every single box, book, and pencil crammed into my one classroom closet before I can say "it's summertime!" at the end of the year.

Teaching in a charter school that rents space in a church, my classroom is used on weekends and throughout the summer in a variety of ways. Most teachers must pack up their room and move things at then end of the year, but my room doesn't look at all like a classroom when I walk out for the summer break.

As I packed some items in boxes two weeks ago, I sat and thought about how much easier it would be if it all fit in the box! I have a wire rack that holds five buckets. I use them to sort supplies for the different subjects I teach. The box they came in is long gone and the rack is too long to fit in most boxes. I filled my closet full of my library books, curriculum, markers and notebooks, and boxes of other things. That wire rack just doesn't fit in a box. Urgh!

Wouldn't life be more simple if everything just fit in a box? But, it doesn't. Emotions don't fit in boxes. People don't fit in boxes. Relationships don't fit in boxes. God doesn't fit in a box.

So, I shall pack away what I can in a box, seal it with tape, and stack them high. Then, alongside or on top I'll perch that wire rack and remember that sometimes things just don't fit in a box.