Saturday, January 11, 2014

Shift in Focus

I'm happy to report I left school earlier than "usual" two days this week.  Sadly, I went back to school because my big kids have basketball practice Monday and Tuesday nights.  I went to my room and did a wee bit of work.  Neither evening was as productive as I had hoped for it being "after hours" when the place should be quiet and I should be alone.  We shall see how this next week goes.

I left late two days but my kids were with me and were having fun playing.  I've also been better about not bringing more work home.  I had to bring lots of papers home this weekend but they have been relatively quick to grade.

Just the mental shift of knowing I don't want to continue the way things have been is a change.  Sometimes that's all it takes to see changes in the bigger picture.

Of course, this week was also very dramatic with a sick kiddo at home.  Rylee fell off her scooter while at a friend's house last Friday evening.  She came home with a very skinned up face.  I cleaned it up and we put some antibiotic spray on it for the night.  The next morning the edges were looking pink and it had already started to form a think scab.  By the evening, the redness had increased and the area under her eye was swelling.  We showed a friend who works in the medical field and he gave us some things to watch for.  When Rylee woke up Sunday morning her eye was complete swollen and she couldn't open it.  We decided to take her to the after hours clinic for kids.  They told us to go to the Emergency Room to have it scanned.  The doctor said it was infected but she was concerned about something deeper.  We went to the ER and they did a CT scan. {We posted a prayer request on Facebook and were very blessed by the myriad of comments and people praying with us.} The scan came back clear, praise the Lord!  They prescribed a very strong liquid antibiotic for the infection.  Rylee took a dose of the nastiest tasting medicine in the world that night.  She stayed home from school Monday morning to rest.  She choked down another dose of her medicine (which is also a very expensive go with the nasty taste).  Within two hours she was throwing up.  She continued to get sick several more times.  Finally, after getting some toast and applesauce and trying the medicine again, we gave up.  The swelling and redness in her eye was almost completely gone by Monday night.  She went to our regular pediatrician Tuesday and they prescribed a less potent antibiotic.  She took that one fine and went back to school Wednesday.  The scab had loosened and she pulled it off Wednesday night while we were at youth.  Crazy girl!  The skin underneath is a very faint pink and is so thoroughly healed that it is amazing.  I believe the Lord has honored the many prayers of faithful saints and been gracious to Rylee.

It's funny how I was contemplating all the issues of going back to work and wanting to see more balance.  There's nothing like having a sick child to put things in perspective.  I cried just a bit Tuesday morning as I walked up the steps to teach, knowing one of my babies was home and not well and I wasn't there to care for her.

This season of life has been such a change for us.  I remember struggling as a stay at home mom with my "job" and feeling guilty at times for not contributing financially to our family.  I felt guilty when working moms would talk about juggling everything and would tell me I was so lucky to be able to stay home with my kids.  I felt like my job was exhausting and never ending. {It was and it wasn't.}  Now, I struggle because I'm not with my children as much, I don't handle all the laundry, shopping, cooking, and homefront chores. I am not the one who helps with homework. Sometimes I walk in and feel like I have no clue what's going on inside the walls with these people I love so dearly.  I don't like that part.

Having an illness in the house made me more attentive to what was happening.  I chose to let go of some things at work and worry about my child, where my attention should be focused.  As much as I don't like when one of my children is sick, I was thankful this week for the chance to tune in more to the place that matters most.

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