Thankfulness - Keeping the Focus in the Right Place

My devotional today in "Jesus Calling" talked about thankfulness.  I feel like it's a topic that is discussed often.  Yet, maybe it is regularly discussed because we do it so little!

The author highlighted that we will focus on the one thing we don't have (or don't like) and obsess until it is fixed.  Instead, we should be looking at all we do have and be thankful for each thing.

A few things immediately came to mind...
...instead of focusing on the struggle I'm having with one student, I should stop and be thankful for each student I haven't struggled with.
...instead of focusing on the weight I need to lose, I should stop and be thankful for the strength I have.  This last week someone commented to me "You're really athletic."  It was a great compliment to me and very encouraging.
...instead of focusing on the one time my child(ren) disobeyed this morning, I should stop and be thankful that my children baked together happily, helped clean up cheerfully, and asked me to cuddle!
...instead of being sad about the grey day, I should stop and be thankful for the water for my grass that I don't have to pay for!
...instead of looking at my week ahead and worrying about what's to come, I should stop and be thankful for my job, God's provision, the gift of Joel being able to go to seminary, my children, my mom living with us, my coworkers, my friends, the youth we get to serve, and all the million other "little" things I easily overlook every day!

Thankfulness and gratitude really do change your attitude.  I was irritated today when I found out no one had bought ketchup even though it had been on the shopping list.  I'll be honest and say I was really annoyed.  We were having burgers and, well...I really love ketchup!  I took a break and went to my room to put something away.  I sat for a moment and thought about my reaction.  How petty and childish. This is one of those moments where I should be grateful for everything else I have and realize I have plenty.  I'm happy to say, that timeout was just what I needed.  But, too often, I don't take the timeout and I let my attitude get soured by focusing on the lack or disappointment.  I'm hoping thankfulness will flow more readily from my heart and my lips this week!

A Journal

"He is our peace, who has broken down every wall."

I remember this line to an older worship song. I sing it every now and then as it pops into my mind. Today, it was on my lips off and on for hours. Our pastor is teaching through Ephesians. We covered chapter two today with a target on verses 11 through 22. The passage is about the division between Jews and Gentiles and how Christ has reconciled the two. Christ abolished in his flesh the enmity so he could make the two into one. He offers this reconciliation to us as believers. He tells us to be at peace with others, regardless of our differences. We are told in 2 Corinthians that we have been given the ministry of reconciliation. We should be pointing others to Christ that they may be reconciled to Him as we are. In addition, we are to pursue peace.

I've recently had some strained relationships where I'm trying hard to pursue peace. As I listened to our pastor today, I was challenged in my pursuit of peace. Sometimes it's easy to think we are pursuing peace when really we are pursuing our own objectives. I am a personality that demands truth. I want the facts exposed. I struggle with anything that looks like it's less than forthright. I love transparency and openness. So, in situations where there is no peace and something needs to be said, I want it all said now! Holding my tongue is, consequently, not a strong trait of mine. But, there is so much wisdom in letting time pass and the dust settle. There are many times where peace will be found if I just sit back and let things happen on a natural timetable.

The most important place to pursue peace is in my own heart and in my walk with The Lord. I was reminded of this today. I was getting anxious; I could feel my heart rate accelerating. I recalled Scriptures about peace and did a heart check, asking God to search ME. Then, I was quiet. I know, if you know me well, you know that's almost miraculous. But, I was quiet and asked God to speak.

Right now, I'm feeling at peace. I feel confident in my silence. I feel confident in Christ. He is more than able to bring us to a place of peace, even as we stand on two very opposing sides. He is our peace. He has broken down every wall.

Shift in Focus

I'm happy to report I left school earlier than "usual" two days this week.  Sadly, I went back to school because my big kids have basketball practice Monday and Tuesday nights.  I went to my room and did a wee bit of work.  Neither evening was as productive as I had hoped for it being "after hours" when the place should be quiet and I should be alone.  We shall see how this next week goes.

I left late two days but my kids were with me and were having fun playing.  I've also been better about not bringing more work home.  I had to bring lots of papers home this weekend but they have been relatively quick to grade.

Just the mental shift of knowing I don't want to continue the way things have been is a change.  Sometimes that's all it takes to see changes in the bigger picture.

Of course, this week was also very dramatic with a sick kiddo at home.  Rylee fell off her scooter while at a friend's house last Friday evening.  She came home with a very skinned up face.  I cleaned it up and we put some antibiotic spray on it for the night.  The next morning the edges were looking pink and it had already started to form a think scab.  By the evening, the redness had increased and the area under her eye was swelling.  We showed a friend who works in the medical field and he gave us some things to watch for.  When Rylee woke up Sunday morning her eye was complete swollen and she couldn't open it.  We decided to take her to the after hours clinic for kids.  They told us to go to the Emergency Room to have it scanned.  The doctor said it was infected but she was concerned about something deeper.  We went to the ER and they did a CT scan. {We posted a prayer request on Facebook and were very blessed by the myriad of comments and people praying with us.} The scan came back clear, praise the Lord!  They prescribed a very strong liquid antibiotic for the infection.  Rylee took a dose of the nastiest tasting medicine in the world that night.  She stayed home from school Monday morning to rest.  She choked down another dose of her medicine (which is also a very expensive medicine...to go with the nasty taste).  Within two hours she was throwing up.  She continued to get sick several more times.  Finally, after getting some toast and applesauce and trying the medicine again, we gave up.  The swelling and redness in her eye was almost completely gone by Monday night.  She went to our regular pediatrician Tuesday and they prescribed a less potent antibiotic.  She took that one fine and went back to school Wednesday.  The scab had loosened and she pulled it off Wednesday night while we were at youth.  Crazy girl!  The skin underneath is a very faint pink and is so thoroughly healed that it is amazing.  I believe the Lord has honored the many prayers of faithful saints and been gracious to Rylee.

It's funny how I was contemplating all the issues of going back to work and wanting to see more balance.  There's nothing like having a sick child to put things in perspective.  I cried just a bit Tuesday morning as I walked up the steps to teach, knowing one of my babies was home and not well and I wasn't there to care for her.

This season of life has been such a change for us.  I remember struggling as a stay at home mom with my "job" and feeling guilty at times for not contributing financially to our family.  I felt guilty when working moms would talk about juggling everything and would tell me I was so lucky to be able to stay home with my kids.  I felt like my job was exhausting and never ending. {It was and it wasn't.}  Now, I struggle because I'm not with my children as much, I don't handle all the laundry, shopping, cooking, and homefront chores. I am not the one who helps with homework. Sometimes I walk in and feel like I have no clue what's going on inside the walls with these people I love so dearly.  I don't like that part.

Having an illness in the house made me more attentive to what was happening.  I chose to let go of some things at work and worry about my child, where my attention should be focused.  As much as I don't like when one of my children is sick, I was thankful this week for the chance to tune in more to the place that matters most.