Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Some Hard Questions - Join Me

Parts of this post have been in "edit" mode for almost two months.

I decided it was time to finally make them a reality.

The very long post of yesterday with tons of Christmas pictures had to be posted in a somewhat timely manner and I find I don't ever really type what I want to say on here, so this post is just going to be more "rough draft" than even my unpolished normal writing.

Where to begin?

Let me start with saying I have always had a love/hate relationship with social media, specifically blogs and Facebook. So much of what we see is just the beautiful, what-I-want-you-to-see stuff of life. If you struggle with jealousy or envy or feeling sorry for yourself or have hormonal days, then you've probably sat in front of a computer screen, stared at what someone posted, and felt worse about your own life or circumstances.

We all have an image in our mind of what life should be like, what we'd like to be doing or see happening, and it's usually beautiful. We see someone else's beautiful when our life isn't so lovely and envy it. Sometimes it sends us even farther into the valley.

I recently joined Pinterest. Mostly, I was searching for hairstyles and liked the ease of looking through pictures others had pinned with the keywords "short hair".

Pinterest...another social media for me to love and hate.

December is a time when social media can be particularly hard for me. I want to do these cutesy crafts and projects with my kids. I want to have a lovely decorated house. I want to make this season meaningful for my family. I want.... want, want, want. Oh, Pinterest makes the wanting more easy to see!

But, this post isn't about social media. Really, it isn't.

My life isn't a storybook. It's beautiful and fabulous and lovely and full of amazing gifts God has given me. Five people surround me daily to prove God's goodness to me.

But, this December, I found myself not feeling "ready" for Christmas. For the life of me, I could not get myself to a place of emotionally and spiritually being "there". I can't put my finger on it. I've discussed it with a few people and suggested maybe it's hormones (highly likely), the adjustment of having a baby again (highly likely), or spiritual (placing my stock here most).

I'll probably blog a little more about the first two later. But, right now, I just want to share something that has caused me much anguish and questioning this last year.

Last fall (2010), a series of events happened that caused me to step back from my life and start to look at things, seemingly, from a different point of view. I never really wrapped my brain around all of it and then my life turned again as Jett was born. [Not like I hadn't had three kiddos before him, but I forgot how enveloping babyhood is.] So, I ended up spending most of 2011 asking some hard questions of God and never really getting answers. I still don't feel like I've dug in enough to His Word or Him, in general, to get the answers. I feel like I've been busy surviving and trying to scrape together bits of what I felt like I used to have together...namely managing my house and family.

So, as I start 2012, it's really just a continuation of these lingering questions.

Here they are:
--where in Scripture to we see the idea of a "calling", specifically as it relates to vocation?
--does God lead us/"call us" to specific tasks? do those change? is there an overarching "calling" on our life as believers?
--does God speak to us, in a conversational way? where do we see that Biblically?

Some of these questions arose as friends walked through trials, changes came that were out of my control or influence, and I began reading some things.

I read the book Just Do Something: A Liberating Approach to Finding God's Will by Kevin DeYoung. Whew. It challenged me. It got me thinking.

Then, I read an article published by Stand To Reason. Since the article was part one of a three part series, I was sort of left hanging until the second article came out in the summer and then finally the third one was published in November. [Link to STR articles. Solid Ground is their monthly newsletter/article. This is the archives homepage. You can read each of the three articles. They are PDF articles, so there isn't a way to link to a webpage other than this. They are titled "Does God Whisper, Parts 1, 2, 3".]

I'm putting all this out there in blogland hoping someone will take time to read the articles and give me some feedback. I have printed copies that I'm currently re-reading. My plan is to dig into them and really seek the Lord this month.

I'd welcome your thoughts.

7 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Megan, thanks for sharing :) I did read the articles....it would take forever for me to post thoughts on a blog comment, but Aaron and I have both been discussing it today and it's sparking some interesting thoughts among us. I'm interested to hear more of your thoughts on the topic, and happy to 'chat it out' if you ever want ;) Also happy to read your thoughts on social media...and glad that I'm not the only mama who regularly accomplishes much less than my own aspirations. Thanks for sharing your heart...I always find it easy to relate to you ;)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Regarding your question, "where in Scripture to we see the idea of a "calling", specifically as it relates to vocation?"

    My first thought was, "I don't really know.", but as I thought a little more, I was reminded of the 12 disciples, the apostle Paul, the prophet Elisha, David, Moses, and Joseph (the old testament one). These guys were clearly called both TO something and AWAY from something else. Each one physically left his home, because he couldn't fulfill his new calling from there. Each one gave up his current vocation, replacing it with the new one, sometimes with a long period of uncertainty and hardship in between.

    I think that's the only question you posed that I'll even attempt to tackle. :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hi Megan,
    Just a note to day that I'm praying with you through these things. I know at least part of that journey. :)

    For random thought starters, I had often thought about 2 Peter 1:10 as admonition to keep our focus on our calling and not let ourselves be distracted, but re-reading it more recently, I'm wondering/feeling that the calling there is more related to our calling to be fruitful in our relationship with Christ.

    I do like your thoughts, Lisa. Greg and I have talked about some of those men as we share with college students. "As God gives you a vision, hold it before Him and be willing to follow Him where ever He may lead you in that -- even if it seems to take through a wilderness/desert first."

    -D

    ReplyDelete
  5. Acts 1:8 You shall receive power, after that the Holy Spirit is come upon you,and you shall be witnesses unto me.
    Reading some Towzer and he says..." Truth is one, but truths are many.Spiritual truths are interlocking and interdependent."
    God gave us the Holy Spirit so we may each have a relationship with Him, and all of these relationships are personal...meaning different. I have heard God's Real voice once, maybe you have or haven't that doesn't mean one is right and one is wrong. The Lord made us all different and we are all on different levels with Him.
    The Spirit will lead you to where you are called by GOd and He will not take you were He doesn't want you. Trust in the Lord with all your heart sister.
    I believe we will not have all the answers on this side, not like it is wrong to question. Questioning is vital to our growth.
    I love you and am praying for this season of your life.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Thanks for the comments. I'll be following up and writing another post instead of just writing here in the comments. I appreciate that each of you took time to read the post (and maybe the articles) and then commenting. It's very encouraging to me.

    ReplyDelete
  7. So glad you shared this. I can totally relate to your post and appreciate your honesty. I have not read the articles yet, but would enjoy doing that and discussing them over tea one day soon. I am so glad God brought you to TX for this season of your life. I can't imagine my life without you to encourage me and laugh with me through all my peaks and valleys.

    ReplyDelete