Thursday, June 3, 2010

Tragic Ending for a Widow...Fearful Living Part I

I can't imagine my life without my husband.

When I was pregnant with the twins I was overcome with emotion one day (plus a vivid imagination and lots of hormones) and sat down in the kitchen and just bawled my eyes out at the possibility that something would happen to Joel. Poor Rylee, all of 18 months old at the time, just patted me on the back as I sat on the floor with my huge tummy and sobbed. Of course, Joel walked in the door later and had no idea I had imagined he was dead while he was at work.

I think the Lord has allowed me to come face-to-face with my fears, even if it's due to a hormone surge, so that I can deal with them and not live as a slave to fear. Much of what we fear will never happen to us.

I listened to a teaching by Beth Moore last fall in which she addressed fear and how it is probably the number one thing women struggle with most. I mean, if you look at all the issues women face that concern them, fear is at the root of lots of problems. Fear that your man will leave or die, fear that your children will not turn out well, fearing death for ourselves, fear of hurting, fear of failure, fearing what other people will think of you (fat, ugly, not smart...), fear of getting old.

In Beth's teaching she shared how she has overcome fear. I'll share that in a future post.

What struck me today as I thought about fear was the reality of women in Asia. I live in a country where I am free to worship God as I choose. Should something happen to Joel, I will not be relegated to the outskirts of society. But, in Asia, that's not true. Widows face a hard life. This story about a widow in Asia struck a chord in my heart today. Please join me in praying for her family.

More on fear in the next post...


  1. What an incredibly sad story, on many levels....

    If you're thinking of the same Beth Moore teaching I am (from her Esther study?) it's a powerful one. :)

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